Being Interrupted: What to Do, and How to Interrupt Someone Politely

Most people know the feeling. You're halfway through what you want to say and someone else is already talking. Your stomach tightens a little, or you feel a flash of irritation.

This article covers both sides: what you can do when people interrupt you, and how to interrupt someone else when you really have to, without it feeling rude.

In short

When someone interrupts you, don't stop straight away and don't raise your voice. Finish your sentence at the same volume and pace, or lift your hand slightly with a short "one second, let me finish this". If the conversation has already moved on, let the other person finish and then calmly bring your point back. When you need to interrupt someone yourself, say their name first, build on their last words, and give a short reason, such as the time or the decision that still needs making.

Why people talk over you (it's rarely bad intent)

Most interruptions aren't meant as an attack. In practice there are usually three things going on:

1. Enthusiasm and a different pace. Some people talk fast and think out loud. The linguist Deborah Tannen calls this cooperative overlap: they jump in to show they're with you, not to shut you up.
2. A long run-up. If you spend three minutes on background before you get to the point, listeners get restless. People jump in to keep things moving.
3. Wanting the floor. Sometimes someone really does want to take over, or show who's in charge.

It helps to tell these apart, because each one asks for a different response. An enthusiastic friend needs a smile and one more sentence. A colleague who keeps taking over needs a clearer signal.

Part 1: What to do when someone interrupts you

Many people swing to one of two extremes. They go quiet for the rest of the meeting, or they start talking louder and it becomes a contest. Neither feels good. These four things work better.

1. Keep talking, without getting louder

The simplest first response costs no extra words: don't stop.

When someone starts talking over you, carry on with your sentence at the same volume and the same pitch. Look at them calmly. Often the other person notices within a few words that you weren't finished, and stops. Don't raise your voice, because that sounds defensive. Just stay on course.

2. A small hand gesture

If they keep going, lift your hand to about chest height, palm slightly forward. Not like an angry traffic warden, more like a friendly "hold on". Add one short line:

• "Hang on a second, let me finish this sentence."
• "One second, Peter, I'll just round this off."

As soon as you've finished, hand the floor straight back: "Right, now I'm curious what you wanted to say." That shows you're not annoyed, you're just keeping your space.

3. Picking it up again afterwards

Did the other person talk over you anyway, and has the conversation already moved on? Let them finish, then bring your point back calmly:

• "I'd like to go back to where I was, because that part matters for the planning."
• "Before we move on: I hadn't finished the point about the budget. I'd like to get that clear first."

Nobody minds this. You're not complaining about being interrupted, you're simply finishing your point.

4. Look at your own pauses

Notice how you pause. Many quieter speakers leave a silence while they think about the second half of their sentence. In a group, a silence of a second or so is easily heard as "your turn".

Want to think without losing your turn? Use a bridge: "There are two sides to this. The first is... and the second..." Or keep eye contact while you think. People tend to wait for someone who is still looking at them. If you'd like more on staying calm when the pace picks up, see holding your frame.

5. Say what is coming

You can prevent a lot of interruptions by saying up front how long your point is. People wait more easily when they know there is more coming:

• "I have two quick points. The first is..."
• "Give me one minute, then I would love to hear your take."

Start with your conclusion and add the explanation after. That way your main point is already out there, even if someone does jump in.

6. Does it keep happening? Talk about it one-on-one

If the same person cuts you off again and again, bring it up calmly later, not in front of the group. Keep it about the conversation, not the person: "In the meeting I often did not get to finish my point. Can we agree to let each other finish?" Most people never even noticed they were doing it.

Part 2: How to interrupt someone when you really need to

Sometimes you can't avoid it. Someone keeps repeating themselves, the meeting is running out of time, or a friend has lost the thread completely. This is how you do it kindly and clearly.

1. Start with their first name

Nothing breaks a monologue as quickly and gently as hearing your own name. Don't say "Whoa, wait!", say:

• "Sander, can I jump in for a second?"
• "Anna, can I add something before we go on?"

Hearing their name makes people look up and listen.

2. Build on their last words

Don't cut in with a completely new topic, because that feels blunt. Use the other person's last words as a stepping stone:

• "You just mentioned how the client reacted, and that's exactly what we need to look at before we run out of time."
• "You're right that last year went differently. Since we have ten minutes left, I'd like to focus on today's decision."

This is the same skill as building on what someone said in an ordinary chat. You'll find more of these in 30 conversation techniques.

3. Offer a safety net for later

When someone has a lot to say, being stopped feels less harsh if you show their story won't get lost:

• "That's an important point. Let's note it for next week, so we can finish the planning now."
• "I'd love to hear more about this, but let's do it over lunch, otherwise we won't get through the agenda."

With friends it's even simpler: "Hold that thought, I want to hear the end of it, but first: who's ordering?"

4. Let the clock be the referee

If you find it awkward to stop someone personally, let the time do it:

• "Let me jump in with an eye on the clock: we have five minutes left and still need to decide on step two."

Everyone understands time is limited. You're not being rude, you're looking after the whole group.

What if you're the one who interrupts?

Some readers will recognise themselves on the other side. You get excited, you already know what the other person is going to say, and you're in before they finish. A few small habits help:

• Count one breath after someone stops talking before you start.
• If you've jumped in anyway, give it back: "Sorry, I cut you off. Go on."
• Ask a question instead of adding your own story.

Cut in by accident? Put the ball right back in their court.

Frequently asked questions

Is it rude to keep talking when someone interrupts me? No. Finishing your sentence at a calm pace is a normal way of showing you weren't done. It only becomes a contest if you start talking louder.

How do I interrupt my manager? The same way, with a little extra framing: their name, a link to what they just said, and a reason that serves the meeting. "Mark, can I add one thing about the deadline before we decide?"

Why do I get interrupted more than others? Often it has to do with long pauses mid-sentence, a long run-up to the point, or a soft voice in a loud group. That's not a character flaw, and small changes in timing usually help a lot. If you're quiet by nature, this article on shyness might feel familiar.

I keep replaying it afterwards. What helps? That's very common. The article on overthinking conversations has a practical approach for before, during and after.

Steering a conversation is something you learn by doing

Holding your turn in a conversation has nothing to do with having a big mouth. It comes down to timing, a bit of body language and staying calm. People who stay relaxed tend to keep the respect of the table.

Want to practise taking your place in conversations without tension or second-guessing? In the course Talking with People you practise step by step with timing, setting limits and easy conversations with colleagues and friends. The first module is free.