Blog

Short pieces about starting conversations, staying in touch, and building friendships that last.

Making Friends as an Adult: Why It Feels Hard and How to Actually Do It

Making friends as an adult doesn't happen by itself anymore. Where to find repeat contact, what to say in the first meetings, and how to go from small talk to a first coffee.

How to Stop Overthinking Conversations: What to Do Before, During and After

Do you replay every conversation in your head? The five steps of the R.E.S.E.T. method, applied before, during and after a conversation, so you think less and connect more.

A man calmly writes his racing thoughts onto a notepad at his desk

The R.E.S.E.T. Method: What to Do When You Can't Get Started

Can't get started? The R.E.S.E.T. method helps you clear your head in five steps and take one small action, at work or at home.

Listening Between the Lines: How to Deepen a Conversation

Deepening a conversation starts with listening to tone, pace and word choice. That is how you ask the question that really matters.

Better Observation: See What Is There, Not What You Think

Observing is not the same as filling in. Learn the difference between what you see and what you think, and ask better questions in conversation.

Blushing: What to Do When You Go Red in a Conversation

You go red and think everyone notices. Why blushing happens, why others judge it more kindly than you think, and what to do in the moment.

Questions to Get to Know Someone: 40 That Don't Feel Forced

Good questions to get to know someone, from light to deep. With examples per situation and one simple rule for when to go deeper.

How to Make Friends as an Adult: Turn One Good Conversation into a Friendship

To turn a good conversation into a friendship, end it with one concrete next step, send a specific message within two days, meet several times in the first weeks, and see each other once outside the place where you met.

Two people having a relaxed conversation at a birthday party

Social Anxiety: What Can You Do When "Just Relax" Doesn't Help?

Being told to just relax rarely helps against social anxiety. Small, doable contact moments and a few practical conversation habits work better.

A consultant listens to a client manager discussing a workplace problem

The consultant as an antenna: spotting commercial opportunities at the client

Your consultant sits at the client's table every day and hears what is going on. What happens with those signals depends on one question: does he recognise a commercial opportunity when it comes up?

A woman in a café queue calmly looks around before saying something

Opening Lines for Small Talk: Practise by Observing First

How do you start a conversation without a script? Practise opening lines for small talk by observing first: a simple structure and five everyday examples.

Twee buren maken een kort praatje bij een bakkerij

How to Make Small Talk: Start a Short Conversation

A week encouraging conversation is a good start. But how do you make small talk when you cannot find the words? Three steps with everyday examples.

A man starting a conversation with a woman at an outdoor café terrace

Small Talk: 3 Ways to Start a Conversation

Looking for a way to start a conversation? Discover three types of small talk openers, with examples for everyday situations.

Two adults sharing everyday stories at a café table

Small Talk: How to Get Better at It (What to Say After the First Line)

What do you say after the first line? Learn how to make small talk easier with focused follow-up questions, a little about yourself and simple exercises.

Two people talking at a cafe table with a compass drawn behind them

30 Conversation Topics (With Follow-Up Questions That Work)

Never run out of things to say. 30 everyday conversation topics, each with four natural questions, plus a simple way to share something about yourself.

A calm woman listening while a hurried man talks at a café table

Holding Your Frame: Five Small Exercises for Calmer Conversations

You know the feeling: halfway through a conversation you start rushing, over-explaining or agreeing with things you do not mean. These five small exercises help you keep your own footing, without turning the conversation into a contest.

The Conversation Compass: Where to Go When a Conversation Stalls

Most of us know two moves in a conversation: ask the same kind of question again, or start talking about ourselves. Here is a simple map with more directions.

A quiet man listening attentively to a woman at a café table

Shy, Not Stuck-Up: Why Being Quiet Looks Like Arrogance

Mistaken for arrogant or aloof? People see your quiet behaviour, not your nerves. Here is why it happens and how to show warmth without pretending.

A man and a woman talking across a wooden fence

One Conversation, Thirteen Ways to Look at It

Twelve words, a glance and a goodbye. What actually happens in a short conversation, and thirteen lenses that help you see what you missed.

Two people talking and listening at a café table

How the Way You See a Conversation Changes It

A pause in a conversation rarely means what you fear. How your interpretation shapes small talk, and four ways to leave room for a friendlier reading.

Two people talking beneath a picture of the same conversation

When to Talk About How You're Talking (and When Not To)

Sometimes a conversation goes wrong because you're having two different conversations. Learn when to say so out loud, when to leave it, and how to bring it up without making things awkward.

Three people talking at an outdoor café table beside bicycles

Nothing to Talk About? 25 Angles for Any Topic

Stuck on a topic like the weather or work? 25 simple angles that turn any subject into a real conversation, with everyday examples and a quick exercise.

Do the small thing, not the right thing

Start with one small conversation today, even if you still feel unsure. The more often you do it, the easier it gets.

The five pillars: a different way to read a conversation

Most conversation advice tells you what to do. The five pillars help you see what is actually happening in a conversation, so you can tell which part is off and fix it.

Two people seated opposite each other in conversation

Why Mirroring Body Language Does Not Work

Copying someone's posture on purpose is one of the most repeated pieces of social advice there is. It also does not work, for three fairly simple reasons.

A person considering different responses to a conversation

What to do with what a stranger just said

A stranger just answered you. CARE helps you follow up: Catch what they said, Aim at a useful thread, Respond with interest and Extend the conversation.

Two people talking in armchairs on a small stage

Self-Expression in Conversation: Let People Get to Know You

Asking questions is good, but people want to know you too. Three small ways to share an opinion, preference or feeling without it feeling forced.

Two people passing beside a city doorway

How to talk to strangers when you are not naturally good at it

Fear of rejection can make it hard to start a conversation. Research suggests people are often more willing to talk than we expect. REACH offers five points to practise, from noticing an opening to keeping a conversation going.

You are not broken. You are undersupplied.

Feeling lonely does not mean there is something wrong with you. Look at the regular contact and close relationships your week offers, and where you might make room for more.

Two people talking beside a mirror reflecting their faces

The Liking Gap: Why You Underestimate How Much People Like You

Research shows that after a conversation, most of us systematically underestimate how much the other person liked us. Here is why that happens, and what to do about it.

A man walking towards people talking outside a waterfront café

From SAP consultant to Being Sociable: what I'm doing now

After years as an SAP consultant and software developer, I changed course. I now help people connect more easily, privately and at work, with courses and coaching.

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